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>The Joys of Being Single

23 Jan

>What’s so bad about being single? Nothing, really but we are constantly manipulated to think that something is wanting when we are without a partner. We but need to turn on the radio to be bombarded with the latest pop sensation crooning a love song. What’s all the fuss about? Is love really so indispensible? I don’t think it is. Yes, relationships have their perks – someone to share your life with, to discuss your hopes and dreams with. But apart from the occasional romantic gesture on Valentine’s Day, love is not all it’s cracked up to be. Do we hear a John Williams soundtrack when we lock lips with that special person? Do we overcome all obstacles and get back together at the very end? More often than not, we don’t. Not even close. Our princes would rather play a game of football with some mates, play poker or hang out at the local pub. Hardly romantic, is it? And then there’s some of them who just sit around the house all day playing computer games on their playstation because there’s this ”new, awesome game out!”. How many men actually buy us flowers or take us out to dinner? Not many. Besides, do you really want to sacrifice your spare time to babysit a 30-year old little boy? Probably not.

For one reason or another, relationships usually don’t work out. Whether it’s because we simply have different goals or don’t get along anymore, no man is worth crying over. After all, life as a single woman has many advantages. We can do whatever we like! If we want, we can belt out all our favourite pop songs without disturbance. We can hang out with our girlfriends every night or call them every hour. We don’t have to feign interest in his day-to-day sports conversations anymore or suffer through tedious chats about work, computers or cars. We can just sit back with a large tube of ice-cream and have a chick flick marathon without pesky boyfriends trying to feel us up or making us feel guilty for eating something with calories. We can flirt with whomever we like and it doesn’t come with any consequences. We can have brief, meaningless flirtations just for the fun of it and go shopping without a comment about how ”you plundered another store!” All those little habits of ours we try to hide to appeal to men can come to light again and even be celebrated. No more boys nights with rude friends we can’t stand.

Singletons live life from moment to moment. They don’t need anyone’s permission to move to Spain if they feel so inclined. When in a relationship, it limits you. When single, you are free. And it’s a great feeling. No responsibilities, no rules and regulations. You live life as you want and if anyone doesn’t like it, they can go to hell. Really, is a romantic stroll on the beach worth all the trouble? When romance is so hard to find, why do we keep looking or even worse, settle for less? Let us be free and let romance come to us. And if it doesn’t come, do we really need it?

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>The Love Particle

5 Jan

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                                                            Are chick flicks dangerous?

Love is all chemicals. We know that. And yet we crave it. We love to get lost in its magical aspects. Pondering over those never changing questions: Does he like me? Am I his type? What should I say? What should I wear? We’re addicted to romance. Walking hand in hand, receiving sweet text messages and accepting flowers on anniversaries. It fills our stomach with butterflies that flutter either briefly, for quite a while or forever. And we just can’t get enough. What is it about this fairy tale that makes it so desirable? Are we stuck in some phase that makes us believe we’re a princess about to be saved by a knight in shining armour? And if he arrives, on horseback naturally, how do we recognise him? How are we to know he’s not the villain of our fairy tale? Men do not speak their mind (like we do). They hate that one question: What are you thinking? Their motives are only discovered too late.

So when our princess is locked up in a tall tower with only her long, curly hair for a rope, what are we to do? We wait for our Prince Charming. But we’re not patient. We give in to temptation and settle for the Prince’s understudy. A handsome, nice enough chap who’s fun to be with. But something’s missing. It’s that ”thing”. That spark – whatever the Hell that is. And the longer we fool ourselves into thinking he’s worth staying with, the more flaws we notice. It might be something as insignificant as a loud, embarrassing laugh or bad table manners. But small flaws are soon magnified and they stomp over our hopes and dreams like an elephant in a rage. So we part ways. It’s what we do. And the search continues. But how many people find their own Mr. Darcy or even their own Hugh Grant (in Notting Hill mind you, not Bridget Jones)?


We’ve seen too many chick flicks. Our kisses aren’t accompanied by an Oscar-nominated musical score and our sex scenes don’t end with the morning-after euphoria of breakfast in bed – at least most of us don’t get that lucky. Our kisses are more of a ”what the hell is he doing” and we awake the next morning thinking; where did he go? And love at first sight, that most dangerous myth of all, exists only in fiction. We tell ourselves the men we go out with share our hopes and fears, but do they? When all is said and done, how can we separate the perverts from the princes? How do we know they don’t just want to get in our pants? We talk to them. And then there’s the smooth ones. The ones who’ve had the most practise – the masters of seduction. At least Casanova was interesting. Most of his successors shouldn’t even be allowed to stand in his shadow.

Fan-favourite Spike: the suitor we face in real life. 


And still….we don’t give up. Why? Because we’ve been fed the myth of romance since childood. How did it get started? With Barbie (an anatomically perfect blonde babe) and Ken (a sexually challenged surfer dude). And then there’s the inescapably sweet Disney classics. So in retrospect, there’s only one thing we can do to forget about our singleton woes: we should sue Disney and hit the town with our girlfriends. It’s time for a good rant
Until our next victim stops by that is. Love is pain. Even more so when we realise the love we felt was a fantasy. They say chocolate causes the same effect in the brain as an orgasm. So perhaps we should stock up on sweets until Mr. Right sweeps us off our feet.